Lectures Us on the Pleasures of Dressing for Pleasure
If this column has a battered and besieged look about it, this is due to assaults by readers after the last two issues of Atomage. I was made to write my last column for the last Atomage (No. 32) before No.31 had been published so the accumulation of uncommented mail is unusually high this time leaving me with room only to publish extracts from the many letters.
As I was saying, before I interrupted myself, I had these letters responding to my exasperation and struggling impatience in getting into tight fitting latex clothes and my plea for advice and for looser, softer garments. Among them was one from a reader who has wisely decided to remain anonymous, guessing that my vengeance is total. He wrote to say that my constant complaints about the design and quality of latex and rubber garments, my dislike of masks and thigh-high rubber boots had turned me into a constant and boring nag, and I must be a sore trial to Robert: “there doesn’t seem to be much you do like, except your leather street clothes, so why do you bother?”
A Devon reader found parts of the magazine “so repulsive, I took my penknife out immediately …… it is the most crazy, mixed-up magazine.”
But the reader who really stung me was D.D. who blew in with a stark remark: “You write continuously and amusingly about the dressing part of ‘dressing for pleasure’ but what about writing frankly about the pleasure part for a change …. you hint but scarcely ever say ….”
Would I be right in thinking the gentleman is talking about S.E.X?
Sex practices and sex techniques are as varied as people. Anything I might say can only be a personal perspective. In attempting to relate sex with dressing for pleasure it is very likely I shall simply confirm the conclusion of the Devon reader and blunt his busy penknife.
Anyway, I shall give my views so settle back and take careful notes because I shall be asking questions afterwards.
The difficulty in any marriage is maintaining the quality of the sexual experience over the years, especially when children come along and both partners are facing remorseless social and economic pressures. The first time you go to bed together there is the attraction of novelty and a new emotional experience. Then comes marriage and suddenly you discover you are sleeping with a relative. The novelty soon wears off and then so easily ‘screwing’ becomes a rigidly formal ritual, as dull and as repetitive as that slang expression makes it sound.
Games and dressing up should, you would think, add a much needed variety and spice. So it does with many couples, but for others the dressing is as formal a ritual as anything you can imagine.
“I dress him the same way each time,” one of my lady readers, Mrs. C., told me. “then I tie him and strap him to this chair he watches me dress up and then I must fit his two masks before I whip him. Afterwards, when we get into bed, he is the most marvellous lover any woman could want, but oh how I do wish he would do it differently some times …. not just three positions first I am kissed, then he massages my left breast – always the left – then he moves down to my clitoris a minute later my legs are pulled apart and he is in. Five minutes of that and then I must mount him until I get an orgasm – which I frequently have to fake. The pillow under the hips is next, and then we really go at it until I climax. We have read sex books but he isn’t keen ….. all he says ‘you enjoy it like that, don’t you?’ …. and yes, I do, but I just wish ….”
I can hear you saying Mrs. C. is lucky, very lucky. So many women complain that they never have a chance to have an orgasm because he has finished and is lying on his side fast asleep while she is still half way up the sensation ladder.
|Pictures sent by Mrs. ‘M’ whose views are quoted here and who writes on page 13.|
Sexual skills seem entirely left to chance. She, or he, or both, may begin in total ignorance. Mrs. M. a lady I greatly admire and whose pictures have often appeared in Atomage, told me in a letter “my husband was my first real steady boyfriend I was so naive I when he told me of his interests in macs and things ….. I didn’t give it much thought and certainly I had no idea of the implications for I was brought up in an environment where sex was I something a wife took part in as her duty. I went along with my husband’s demands because I loved him.
“Rubber itself creates no positive reaction in me, but being hooded and bound does. But by wearing rubber I know that there will certainly be some positive reaction from him. Don’t you think we women who are willing to share our husband’s interest do have a definite advantage in that ‘results are guaranteed’. I know that when I dress in a rubber out-fit complete with rubber boots, gas mask and rubber gloves, the lovemaking that follows makes the effort very worthwhile.”
Here is a marriage that works because he and she made it work. She, at first, by meeting his ‘demands’ until she found that ‘being hooded and bound’ had a stimulating effect on her. “Marriage” said Mrs. M. “is a partnership where both should try and make the other partner happy.”
Another thing I have discovered is women with happy successful sexual relationships are almost always fascinated by their husband’s penis. Handling it, stiffening it, licking and kissing it, these are a very important part of love making. Yet many women I find who may well be happy to indulge their man in realising his fantasies and his dressing up games, are not prepared to do much more than open their legs at the crucial moment.
At one time I used to think women who referred to their husband’s penis by a name such as ‘Cuthbert’ or ‘The Terrible Toy’ were being absurdly coy. But now I think that treating it and loving it as you might a family pet is rather nice. It has become, through the understanding of each other, something that is his but also belongs to both of you.
Touching and caressing is very important and whether or not you have layers of leather and rubber between you, it is still the stimulas which I can best describe as a totality of shared experience.
One part of ‘dressing for pleasure’ sessions that I enjoy is feeling between the layers of rubber and the top of his boots and finding the zip. I like to take his penis out and feel it growing in my hand.
All sorts of rubbish has been written about size: men are obsessed by it and seem to get very worried. “I am not very big, if you know what I mean” one reader wrote “but I’m better if I’m in my leathers”. This, if you will allow the pun, is a fallacy.
If the woman encouraged, kissed and caressed, these inhibiting fears would, I am sure, disappear in time. Our little hole is only four inches long although capable of stretching to an astonishing degree. But that isn’t it. An orgasm, contrary to the lurid sex literature, has nothing to do directly with deep penetration. Requests to ‘thrust, darling’ are to do with friction, not depth charging.
The rubber or leather dressed male, masked and booted, and totally covered except for an erect penis is a common subject of the ‘dressing for pleasure’ pictures. But who does it impress, I ask? Certainly not the woman. So do men look with admiration at this erect penis displayed so convincingly by another man and then make invidious comparisons? I would like to know.
|To please all those readers like ACS 587 and F.F., two more pictures.|
The subject of masturbation crops up frequently in the correspondence and this is fine, but only once have I ever heard of a couple who masturbate together when ‘dressed for pleasure’. Masturbation is not a substitute for satisfying intercourse, it is something different, producing a different kind of orgasm for both.
Masturbation is a natural for ‘seconds’. It takes so long to get on the various garments it should not be all over in twenty seconds because of an overexcited male.
Stroking very gently with a rubber gloved hand, or hands, or massaging gently between his crotch – the methods all vary. It takes a great deal of loving understanding, and an ability to gauge response so that it becomes a private method of communicating feeling and love.
He, too, must learn the ‘language’ and be gentle and feeling. Rubber gauntlets are good because they are soft and smooth and his thumb can reach the right place whilst perhaps two or even three fingers are busy elsewhere. A proper knowledge of the female anatomy is essential. Many men remain all their lives totally ignorant of anatomy, their own and that of the female which means they lose out a whole section on the emotional pleasure scale. What a pity!
Encourage, if you can, a good rhythm, moving your boots or your hips, working him as well. If he is wearing rubber thigh boots, push your gloved hands down and squeeze inside his thighs. Then use one hand to keep the penis steady, pressing the scrotum if it is free of his suit. With the other hand just use thumb and forefinger gently to ease the foreskin back – assuming he is not circumcised. After that you must work out your own careful slow touch. Practising all this with him suitably bound can also be a wonderful experience.
PROOF OF PASSION
For obscure psychological reasons many women are repulsed by the sight of semen. Personally, it doesn’t have that effect on me at all, possibly because it has and always will be for me associated with pleasure. To be able, by your touching and caressing to produce those spurts is very satisfying. Well, I think so. To see it trickling across a rubber glove or down the side of a rubber boot is nice. Think of it as his gift, his proof of passion.
If you want to see, or feel, a copious ejaculation have him masturbate (or you do it for him) near to a climax, two or three times prior to the session, beginning two or three hours ahead. A strong ejaculation, by the way, is a very satisfying experience for him.
Once a technique has been developed by you both and this does take patience and practice – you can not only have ‘seconds’ but ‘thirds’, finishing with penetration or even just cuddling.
Mrs. R. the wife of a German reader – and a totally uninhibited friend of mine – uses a small black, soft rubber dildo. A vibrator is another useful aid, but, generally speaking, I am not in favour of sex aids, except for a clitorial stimulator which fits at the base of the penis.
LOVE IN THE AFTERNOON
To be successful – and so splendidly, emotionally rewarding that it defies my untutored descriptive powers – you have to think of physical loving in an entirely fresh way. Forget the notion that sex is reserved strictly for the night hours, a prelude to sleep, a rapid and responsive coupling for twenty minutes. Recognise it as a shared emotional experience – ‘a trip’ – and if dressing up, or whatever, is his stimulus then it should also be thought of as a private sport or a game. Where you might spend a Saturday afternoon together rambling, collecting wildflowers, or on a golf course putting a ball into a series of little holes, try, instead, to spend a whole afternoon, and perhaps evening, making love. A daunting prospect? Not at all.
Plan your sessions as you would a dinner party. Set out with the idea of arousing his animal instincts and encourage him to buy, if you can afford it, something new for ‘dressing for pleasure’.
Think carefully about positions. Encourage him to make love from behind, ‘doggy fashion’, or croupade as I believe the French call it. When he cannot see your face and your expressions, you become more of a desirable sex object and his feelings of sexual mastery is heightened, especially if he is costumed for the role. In taking you from the front, the man in love sees his love mirrored in your eyes and he tends to be too considerate and gentle when all you want is to be raped.
Most healthy women have rape fantasies, but if you have to ask him to rape you, it isn’t rape anymore. So you do need to inspire him to take you forcibly. If it is rubber he likes you to wear surprise him. Meet him at the airport or at the railway station dressed in SBR, head to toe including boots (taking care not to be picked up by excitable Atomage readers on the way there). Who cares if it isn’t raining. And contrary to what you might imagine, few people will give you a second glance. But the look you will get from him as he walks through the barrier is worth diamonds. Get him home quickly and rape is guaranteed, especially if you have thoughtfully left off your tights and are wearing loose drawers rather than pants – or even just nothing!
Making love outdoors brings all sorts of new pleasures. Seek out beforehand an utterly secluded spot and, with the British climate, you have every reason to wear all the rubber or leather he wants. Indeed, believe me, you need to.
Remember that when he is dressed in his favourite outfit – it is important and exciting to help him to dress – and you are dressed as he wants, don’t expect or encourage too much love play. When he is energetic and ‘raring to go’ he will want to thrust quickly and deeply. Guide him to the entrance so he doesn’t catch the tip of his penis on the edge of any high boots or any of the crotch zips, buckles, or straps. , Then draw your hand away quickly. If it is to be the missionary position, draw your boots right up. Thigh boots should be lifted so that the feet rest on his shoulders, otherwise you will become sore at the knees.
|……with the British climate you have every reason to wear all the rubber and leather he wants……|
Slow him down if you think he is likely to ejaculate too quickly. If it happens, never worry or let him know you are disappointed. For if he knows you will work him up again after a short rest, then he will relax. And the second time is wonderful either way. Try to finish the session with him inside you and make him stay there until you have finished contracting.
At the conclusion, when you are both satisfied; after you have showered and aired the room to get rid of that all pervasive sexual odour – possibly mingled with the smell of rubber and. leather – (an aroma as potent as perfume) – then you will both feel at peace with the world, relaxed, satisfied and hopelessly in love with each other. No man – made drug could create such a’trip’ and as an ‘experience’ it transcends everything else spiritual, natural or wholly commercial.
I sincerely hope that my remarks act as a stimulant to my sex who, I really do believe, have to play an active, not passive, role if sexual interest and communication is to be maintained.
Sex is a very healthy pastime. So I was horrified by the decision of three Appeal Court judges last December when they stated that love making once a week was quite enough. In setting aside a divorce granted by another judge, the Appeal Court decided that the wife was not being unreasonable when she rationed sex to Saturday nights only.
Commenting on this – to me – extraordinary decision, the Institute of Psychiatry in London said that their research showed that whilst newly weds will make love five times a week on average in the first year of marriage, that tapers off to only twice a week after the first year.
Which brings me back to where I began – sex should not be a practice or ritual, or a custom, or a Saturday night pastime. Sex should be a shared experience, talked about, thought about, treated with curiosity and imagination with a consideration of all the possible variations – of which dressing for pleasure is only one, albeit a common one.
Do understand though, it is a strictly private game whose rules you make up as you go along. You are not, as I have said before in this column – to the disgust of ACS227 – trying to achieve a record number of orgasms. There are no prizes to be won in this game. Both contestants must win. Both contestants must be happy about the outcome. Both contestants must, at the conclusion, share that secret smile.
Robert has pointed out to me that women who have no children are more sexually responsive. He supports his argument by reminding me that our friends in Northern Ireland, and Mr. and Mrs. M. whose pictures appear in Atomage, are, like me, childless by choice. This means that She is able to devote all her emotional attention to Him. It is not diverted by the demands of the children and he, in a sense, becomes ‘the child’.
Now I would agree that all men are ‘children’ and their level of emotional maturity can frequently be judged by the pictures and letters in Atomage, but I do not quite go along with the idea that the absence of children makes a woman more sexually responsive. I believe, au contraire, that a woman channels her emotional energies to the children because she is unable, and/or unwilling, to obtain emotional satisfaction and, yes, love from the father of those children.
I would also emphasise the tedium of sex conducted according to the prevalent social and religious laws simply because neither party has the wit nor intelligence to recognise the therapeutic values, physical and mental. The ‘wham, bam, thank-you, Ma’am’ approach to marital relations is ruinous to you both.
Yes, I know what you are going to say. How does one get the time to spend the afternoon in riotous lust, dressed from head to toe in male-stimulating disguise, with children loose about the place, the house to clean, the family to cook for, mother-in-law telephoning, and the neighbours coming round to borrow a packet of baking powder? Difficult I do agree, but with a little planning, the use of social tactics and the help of friends for child minding, it can still be done.
“After a week working in the shop” writes Mrs. T, “I am too tired to respond even to the advances of the most handsome man in the world and as for all that stuff you wear, I couldn’t be bothered.” Rubbish, Mrs. T! Poppycock, Mrs. T! I have a full-time job, a home to run, and I also have to find time to scribble all this gratuitous and unappreciated advice. I get so tired and so tense that if I didn’t make a date in the diary, I would be a candidate for the doctor’s waiting room to be fed on those stupid and quite unnecessary tranquillisers that are quietly destroying modern society.
A date in the diary sounds cold and calculating, I know. “I have to be in the mood” said another friend of mine, but I answered that moods can be created. Anticipation, too, is part of the pleasure.
Be prepared to wear whatever, he wants at suitable times-no matter how bizarre it may seem to you. I have described – and you have seen in pictures in Atomage – the sort of thing I wear in order to get the adrenalin – and the seminal juices – flowing. I know I complain about the design of some of these garments and greatly prefer the simplicity and access afforded by the ~ looser latex caftans and gowns, but these are preferences and not prejudices. The thigh-high boots I consider impractical/simply because they are uncomfortable when kneeling, the essential attitude when he is taking you from behind, or you are mounting him. Masks I do dislike – not being fond, even when a child, of wearing a head covering. Still I can be persuaded sometimes and have tried to follow the kindly advice of readers. I do though like to see what is going on, since I am one who responds to visual stimuli, notably passionate and lustful expressions, that are lost if I am masked. I look for, and expect compromise; often to wear just what I want, and want Him to wear, and I expect consideration and variety and a dialogue of action and response.
I don’t believe I have ever refused to do or wear anything – although I have definite ‘absolutely nots’ – anal intercourse being one. But I really find it difficult to understand wives who refuse to wear not only a garment of his choosing (even something chosen for the street) and refuse later to discuss the subject. I get really tragic letters on this subject and am appalled by the stupidity and ignorance and totally unreasonable prejudices of some of my sex. They are the losers. They lose not just at the emotional, caring, comfort level, but at the material and aesthetic level as well. Life is for loving and living and being loved.
Sex is to be enjoyed on every possible occasion. ‘Sessions’ are special for in a good marriage they should be regular, unplanned Encounters of Every Kind. I, personally, as I have stated before, especially like ‘quickies’ and also slow, gentle, sleepy love-ins in the morning. Age, by the way, has absolutely nothing to do with it. Believe me! The older you are the more you should be capable of enjoying sex, because you have had time to develop skills and mutual understanding of each others needs.
|I love to show you my leather outfits but by far the most requests are to see me in black latex and SBR ….!!|
|So many readers wrote in about the ‘rubber love’ pictures that we published in A30 that we asked ACS165 if we could see some more.|
May I emphasise that a sense of humour, a sense of ridiculous, is essential to the enjoyment of sex. Someone said recently – I think it was me – that those who laugh together stay together. Certainly I could not love without laughter.
This is not to suggest that you should get yourself prepared for wild intercourse, dressed in the manner shown in some of the Atomage pictures, in a state of hysterical giggling. The absurdity of some of the costumes and some of the conditions may inspire laughter, but sexual relations – that most intimate, most revealing of all the forms of human communication – are a serious business. Your object – let me make it quite clear – is to inspire him by all the means at your disposal; to wear and to do everything within reason; within your powers and prejudices, to inspire him to the heights of passion that gives you both lasting satisfaction. In helping him to act out his fantasies, and he yours, you are both expanding your personalities and your relationship.
Lacking the inspiration, many men resort to dressing/bondage games to supply this missing stimulii (do I mean stimulus? No, I don’t think so), and so get hooked early on to a solo sport. This can be satisfying, I suppose, but not nearly so satisfying surely as the shared experience.
The inspiration, too, should also extend to streetwear. If he likes to see you in leather and boots, a satinised rubber cloak, and Italian rubber knee boots with heels, well, why not wear them? What is the cost when the repayments are so profitable?
In conclusion, and before the leather clad attendants pass among you with the collection boxes, I would just like you to talk to your partner, starting right now. Be prepared to explore and experiment. To my sex I would just say if you respond honestly and lovingly with your body, you will quickly find what gives you both pleasure. And if he wants you as a Lady Godiva or a deep sea diver, want it too. Enjoy love with an open mind. and love will give you all the enjoyment you will ever want.